


I think we're alone now

by ratshark



Category: Motorcity (Cartoon)
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Gay Male Character, Idiots in Love, M/M, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29002074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratshark/pseuds/ratshark
Summary: Mike is forced to temporarily leave Motorcity for the sake of his friends' safety. Chuck tags along - romance ensues.This fanfic is written by me and my friend who doesn't have an acc on here. All Mike POV (odd numbers) chapters were written by me, and all from Chuck's perspective (even numbers) are theirs. If the changes in style are too distracting, I'm really sorry ;//updates every Monday until we run out of chapters!(also english is not our first language, don't be mean please :[[ )
Relationships: Mike Chilton/Chuck
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

It’s already been almost a day since we left Motorcity and our signal still isn’t weak enough. I’ve honestly been hoping it would go faster, but apparently, I was wrong. It’s hot as balls, I’m tired and the only thing keeping me sane is Chuck sleeping right beside me. I still don’t know what pushed him to volunteer to come here with me. I mean, we are best friends, but we’re talking about weeks if not months in solitude here. Besides, he would be more useful to the Burners, back home. But no, he insisted on coming. I still don’t know how Kane manages to track and spy on me, but at least I’m his only target. If we can just lose his signal..... 

“We made it!” laughed Chuckles, looking at the screen in front of him. I jumped in my seat. Shit, I was sure he was sleeping. Still, I sighed with relief. 

“Finally. Now we only need to find that old motel and we’re good for at least a couple of days. You have the map?” I asked, but I already knew the answer. I can always count on Chuck, I would never doubt him. 

Just as I thought, he had the paper map and guided us to the old building. It was basically falling apart and the rooms were extremely small, but at least we didn’t have to sleep in the car. Although, sleeping in a closed space with Chuck in the seat right by my side, feeling his every breath, hearing his heartbeat, being able to look at him while he’s asleep, wondering what he’s dreaming about…. 

No. Chilton, this is neither the time, nor the place. Not now, not ever. 

We went in to see if any of the rooms were inhabitable. Most of them weren’t, unfortunately. In the end there was only one room that hadn’t fallen apart with a bed you could sleep in without breaking your spine. Great. 

“So… one bed, huh?” I say with a slight chuckle. The blonde’s face turns bright red. 

“it’s ok. I- I can just sleep on the floor. Or in the car, or something” he mumbled, his cheeks burning. 

“No. No way. We didn’t come here just for you to sleep on the floor. We’ll… figure something out And if not, I’m going to sleep on the floor. No objections” 

“Absolutely not? You drove us here, You need rest. Your spine is gonna break, dude” Chuck says. I don’t have the energy to argue, so I just raise my hands in a “you win” motion. He smiles, and so do I. I’m silently hoping he’d suggest sleeping in one bed with me, but I know he would never. He’s not- He doesn’t like me that way, I’m sure. He probably doesn’t even like guys that way. But it’s ok, I’ve made peace with that fact. I only want him to be happy, not necessarily with me. As long as he doesn’t need anything, neither do I. 

We searched the motel again for any spare mattresses and we actually somehow figured out a way to make these monstrosities functional. Two of them stacked on top of each other with one extra for comfort, I guess. Not that bad. 

“Uhh, are we both going to sleep here, in one room, or…” 

“It’s ok, I can leave if you feel uncomfortable” I stop him. He doesn’t seem too happy about it 

“No, I don’t mind. I’d actually, uh, would rather be in one room… with you” he says quietly, as if he didn’t want me to know what words are actually coming out of his mouth. I smile, obviously 

“Uhh, yeah! Sure, no problem dude. Fine by me” I answer, maybe too enthusiastically because Chuck stares at me with an expression I can’t decode. 

By the time we’re done with everything it’s already dark outside. We rarely get to see the stars these days, so instead of going to bed I’m sitting outside, admiring the view. I thought Chuckles was already asleep, so I almost jump again when I hear the door opening. I say nothing. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asks, raising his head towards the sky. 

“I’ve missed this. The sky, I mean. And the stars, and moon, and clouds. Wish we could see them more often” I say, more to myself than to him. I don’t get an answer, the blonde just sits on the ground right next to me. I was going to stargaze, but now I can’t keep my eyes off him, so I just stare like some creep. Chuck doesn’t notice. 

“Hey, um… I know this is a bit random, but… why did you want to go here with me anyway?” I finally break the silence. He doesn’t look at me, just sighs 

“I… Honestly? I would’ve missed you too much. Also I’m kinda scared to be left with the rest alone, without you to, you know. Lift me up, I guess, or something” he answers. I don’t ask any further questions and neither does he and I want to kiss him so bad, right there and then, in the moonlight. But, of course, I don’t. Just keep looking. Looking at his long, long legs, at his skinny torso and his narrow shoulders and those bony arms. Looking at his neck, his face mostly covered by his hair. Oh, his hair. If only Chuck would let me run my fingers through his hair, I think I would be in heaven. His hair is soft, I know that for a fact. Leaving the sensation of brushing his hair with my fingers up for imagination is pure cruelty. 

But I don’t do anything. I can’t. 

I can’t sleep. My thoughts won’t shut up and my mind is more of a mess than usual. I just kind of lay there, with my eyes closed. I decide to open them for the nth time and look at Chuck, sleeping on the mattress tower next to my bed. He turned around in his sleep so I can’t see his face, but I don’t mind. I’m just looking at him breathe in and out in a harmonious, monotone rhythm. I think about waking him up, holding his hand, kissing his mouth and telling how much he means to me. I think about how bad I’ve fallen for him and how long it took me to realize it. I think about how it took me too long, because by the time I knew he’s already started crushing on Claire. I think about how now he claims he’s over her so maybe – just maybe – we could work. I think about a lot of other things after that, but finally even my brain gets tired of thinking. I fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS MY FIRST TIME POSTING ON AO3 AND I'M TERRIFIED ALSO WRITING IN ENGLISH S U C K S  
> hope it's not terrible   
> (unless nobody ever reads this, then it can be as shitty as it gets)


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up with my whole body aching, I let out a quiet sigh and reached my hand to my face and swooped my hair to the side. I slept through the whole night without any further issues, but in this exact moment I could feel the effects of sleeping on the uncomfortable mattress creation, it wasn’t really pleasant. I looked up and saw Mike standing outside on the small balcony that looked like it was going to collapse any second, I could feel the warmth coming to my face very clearly and it embarrassed me even more, how can I react like this just from seeing the back of his head? I feel so stupid, I hate the way Mike makes me feel, but I also love it in the same time. Sometimes I wonder if he feels the same way about me, but then I just laugh at my own thoughts and never bring it up to myself for at least a month or two, there’s no way he, Mike fucking Chilton, feels this way about me. When I found out he was going alone on this dangerous journey, I couldn’t agree to this, I wanted to be close to him, there was no way I was going to let him be by himself for all this time, he needs an annoying sidekick and after all, I’m conveniently always here by his side. 

I couldn’t be more glad when we came to this old motel together, this whole situation seems so unreal to me, it’s just the two of us for all this time, I want to aggressively make out with him from all the happiness I feel, but of course that would be stupid and I would most probably die from many different, possible reasons if that actually happened. I guess Mike still wasn’t aware I was awake because when I got up he seemed kind of startled, he was holding onto the rusted balcony barrier that looked like it was going to come off if he held onto it for a little bit longer. 

“I startled you again, didn’t I? Am I really that quiet? Maybe I should specialise in sneak attacks, like a ninja, I think I’m pretty good at it.” I said proudly. Mike chuckled softly in response, which made me feel really conflicted and sweaty. 

“Of course, you would be the best ninja I know.” He said. 

“Well, how many ninjas do you know, Mike?” We both laughed as we went back to the old motel room. Mike found four, small packets of chips the day before so we were both munching on them like it was the best cuisine in the world, we both silently stared into the musty, moldy wall while eating the old chips. We sat on the dusty carpet which was weirdly comfortable, I tried to snuggle into it as much as I could because the cold in the room wasn’t helping at all. It rarely got cold in this area, I assumed, it was really deserted and dry, but somehow this morning was different and I was freezing like never before, even Motorcity seemed warmer and it’s a literal city that’s underground, without any sunlight or anything. Mike seemed unbothered by the cold and he handled it pretty well, of course I was dumb enough to not bring any jackets or more spare clothes with me, Mike at least had his cool jacket in which he looks really hot, but I could never say it to his face of course. I started shivering, I really wanted to snuggle into Mike for warmth but I knew I couldn’t, he would never agree to it, I just looked at him from under my messy fringe and stared at him like a creep, my eyes were covered by my long bangs so at least he couldn’t see it. He finally broke the silence with his deep voice. 

“You’re shivering, Chuckles.” He said with a hint of worry in his voice. I blushed, every time he called me that nickname I could feel my heart skip a beat. 

“Oh, it’s nothing, I’m a strong dude, I can survive in the cold.” I chuckled awkwardly, knowing that I couldn’t bare it any longer. 

“You can have my jacket if you want, I’m used to cold places like this and I can handle it pretty well, so don’t worry about me, Chuck.” He smiled genuinely and I almost had tears in my eyes, it was so overwhelming, I didn’t stop blushing and I just mumbled quietly “Yeah, if you insist”. Mike took off his jacket and instead of handing it to me he started slowly putting it on my back, then he guided my arms and put them in the arm holes of the jacket, I couldn’t believe what was happening in that moment, his warm hands and freakishly long fingers were touching my cold skin on my hands, making a contrast. My eyes just widened as he finished putting the jacket on me with care. 

“I figured that your hands may be numb from the cold so It would be difficult for you to use them to put on the jacket. By the way, you look pretty cool in it, not gonna lie.” Mike looked away after saying the last sentence, he was blushing a whole lot and I felt like I was going to faint. “I have to go get something from the car, I will be back in a second.” He said as he got up, he was wearing just his white t-shirt and jeans, he looked really attractive, I rarely saw him without his jacket. Mike walked out of the front door and I just sat there, feeling the warmth of the jacket, the jacket smelled surprisingly really good, as we were travelling for days without him changing it or taking it off at least once, I felt like a creep just sniffing the jacket so I quickly got up and went to the small bathroom by our motel room. The bathroom wasn’t used in ages, there was a big, broken mirror hanging on the wall, beneath the rusted sink, I looked into it, and Mike was right, I look pretty fucking cool. 

I looked around the bathroom to see if I could find anything useful. I couldn’t find anything remotely entertaining beside some cockroaches and a moldy toothbrush. This whole journey made me feel new feelings that I never knew I had before, it made me feel more vulnerable in some way. Back in Motorcity it was easier for me to hide my feelings more effectively, even when Mike and I spent a lot of time with each other I could find a way to hide them. Motorcity had lots of distractions and that’s why I love this city so much. But now it was just two of us, in a small motel room, doing nothing in particular. It made me feel small and easy to read emotion wise, in Motorcity I didn’t have to worry about things like this. I was still glad we were both in this together, I don’t regret going with Mike, I’ve never felt this close to him before, even though we spent almost every day together. 

I looked in the mirror once again to look at Mike’s jacket and I smiled uncontrollably. I wonder if Mike gets randomly happy like this because of me when I’m not looking. Once again, I’m thinking nonsense, certainly, he’s probably out there thinking that I’m a huge loser because I can’t even handle a little bit of cold. But I can’t stop thinking about the way he was looking at me when he was putting the jacket on me. All I could think about was the caring look in his eyes and his soft grimace, he didn’t mock me or didn’t even show any disgust, he was genuine. Maybe there’s a small chance he sees me as someone more valuable than a friend, but I want to bury that thought in the back of my mind, I don’t want to fill myself with unnecessary hope, maybe that’s really not the case. 

I sighed and went back to the motel room, Mike still wasn’t there and it made me feel nervous. What if something happened to him? After a long minute of thinking and hesitating I decided to go outside and look for him, he said he only went to get something from the car. I went down the squeaky stairs and almost fell down in the process. I put my hands in the pockets and looked up the porch to see Mike asleep in the front seat, my heart skipped a beat, once again. I slowly walked up to the car and looked at him from the side window, I didn’t want to be a creep and just stare at him, but I also didn’t want to knock on the window to wake him up like an asshole. He looked calm when he was asleep, I just realised I didn’t see him fall asleep last night, he probably stayed up all night and now it’s taking an effect on him. This whole journey was really hard for Mike. He lives in constant stress and sometimes I wish I could do more to make him feel better, when he was asleep he looked so peaceful like all of his worries just disappeared in this small moment. I really look up to him, I always admired him, he’s a polar opposite of myself and I think that’s why I love him so much. I knew 

I had to do something, I didn’t want to just stand there and do nothing, but suddenly Mike started slowly opening his eyes. He jumped a little bit and then gestured to me to open the door, I did as he asked. 

“I think your secret ninja training is paying off.” He smiled. I was still embarrassed, because the love of my life just woke up seeing me stare at him through the window, that was not a good look. “I didn’t want to wake you up bro, you looked so…calm.” My brain wanted me to say “cute” but I wouldn’t forgive myself if I did. “I just went to the car for some more heat packs.” Mike said, while stretching in the car seat. “Heat packs?” I said while tilting my head. “Oh shoot, now you know my little secret. You probably think I’m lame, don’t you? I just tried to act tough in front of you, haha.” Mike laughed quietly. “You think you’re lame? I’m the one wearing a jacket and two layers of shirts right now, I think I win.” I nudged him on the shoulder. We both walked out of the car while laughing carelessly, I wanted it to last forever. 

I was wondering why didn’t he offer me heat packs even when he knew they were in the car, but offered me his jacket instead, but it didn’t matter to me, I was happy. While we were walking back to the motel, our hands gently touched when we walked beside each other. We both looked away and brushed it off, none of us even acknowledged it and I think that was for the best, I just enjoyed the moment while it lasted.


	3. Chapter 3

I give Chuck some of the heat packs and place the rest of them somewhere else for later. Flopping onto the bed I cover my eyes with my arm as if the sun was about to burn them out. In reality I just don’t want him to see how much I’m blushing right now. God, I can’t believe I fell asleep in that damn car! I just wanted to get away for a second because I felt my blood rush up to my face at an alarming speed and I really, really didn’t want him to notice. Besides, had I kept looking at him like that I think I’d die, or kiss him, or both. At least I managed to think of an excuse, but I don’t know if he believed me. Guess I’ll never find out.  
“Julie said she’ll find a way to transport food to us somehow, but until then we have to stay here. I don’t know what she’ll come up with but I hope she won’t take too long” I say, not really directing it towards Chuck, just spitting words into the oblivion. He nods and thinks about something for a second.  
“Julie, huh?” The blonde sighs. I get up to look at him.  
“Uhh, yeah. What about her?” I ask, still keeping my eyes on him. Chuck looks like he wanted to say something but decided not to in the last moment.  
“Do you… wish she was here right now?” he asks quietly. I don’t even need to think about my answer.  
“Of course I do! I miss the Burners, how could I not?”   
“Do you… wish she was here… instead of me?” Chuck says even more quietly after a moment of silence and I just look at him with the most dumb expression on my face. What kind of question even is that?   
“No, what? No, why would you even ask that. You’re my best friend. I mean, sure, Julie is also a great friend and a cherished member of the gang but… she could never replace you, Chuckles” I add softly. Chuck doesn’t say anything, but he looks relieved. Why would he ask that? We’ve been best friends for years, much longer than I even knew Julie. That’s just nonsense. I can’t think of a reason he’d ask me this. Well, unless he thought me and Julie were dating or something, which we are very much not. Yeah.  
…  
Uh oh   
“Wait. You don’t think that- that me and Julie are… a thing, right? Because we’re not. You do know that?” I ask. I guess it was very sudden because Chuck looked surprised at my outburst. He looked away.  
“I… No? I mean, maybe. A little bit. I wasn’t sure, ok? I just-“ he says, still avoiding my eyes “-I guess I wanted to hear it from you. I don’t know, can we not talk about this right now?” he added, visibly nervous. I looked at him like I’d just seen a ghost and then shrugged. Mumbling a careless “whatever” I turned to my side, now facing the wall. Me and Julie? Did he really think that? Well, sure, Julie is a great person and I’m not blind, I can see that she’s also stupid pretty, but… well, she’s a girl. Me and girls don’t really go together. Not now and not ever. But I guess Chuck doesn’t know that, yet at least. It's kinda funny, actually, he tells me everything and I can’t even tell him that I don’t like girls. I knew I didn’t for a long time. Tho I didn’t know I liked guys until I, well, I started to like him. God, I’m pathetic. I’m almost 18 and I still can’t bring myself to confess. Even Mike fucking Chilton is a coward sometimes. Kind of encouraging, eh?

We didn’t really do anything interesting after that. I didn’t really want to waste energy since we don’t have food yet and Chuck… well, he would’ve preferred to just stay and relax for once anyway. We played tic-tac-toe and charades but it got boring pretty quickly. I don’t know which one of us got more wins, but I’d say it’s probably Chuck because I definitely let him win a couple of times, just to see him get excited. But eventually he did notice and yelled at me for losing on purpose. He wasn’t really mad tho.  
He was wearing my jacket the entire time and I felt like I couldn’t stop looking at him. It was a bit too short but other than that it fit pretty well. He looked so hypnotizing in it. Kinda makes me wish he’d wear my clothes more often, however weird that may sound.

We went to sleep pretty early, partially because we were both tired and partially because there was nothing else to do.   
“You’re taking the bed this time. You look like you got ran over by a truck, dude” I laughed.  
“No way, you didn’t get any sleep anyway. I don’t mind the mattresses that much actually” Chuck lied. I could tell he was lying.  
“No. No arguing.”  
“But-“  
“I said no.” I stopped him. “If you really like to sleep on uncomfortable mattresses that much, we can switch next time. But you’re taking the bed tonight. Got it?”  
Chuck nodded, annoyed. I flopped onto the top mattress and stretched like a cat. I think Chuck wanted to say something, but he didn’t. He just turned off the light, got onto the bed and covered his whole body in a blanket. I heard a muffled “g’night”

I couldn’t sleep again, but this time at least I could look at Chuck’s face. He kicked his blanket off completely. I was worried he’d be cold, but he still had my jacket so it calmed me down a bit. I still can’t believe how dumb I was for just putting it on him like that. It must’ve been so uncomfortable for him, Jesus. I stare at his face, now completely expressionless. Some of his hair got into his mouth so I decided to brush it to the side. You know, so he doesn’t choke. That’s what friends do, right? Ahah… Anyway. I really like looking at him when he’s sleeping. When he’s awake he’s always stressing out and, don’t get me wrong, I love the awake Chuck, but seeing him relaxed for a change is really pleasant.

Some time passes by, I don’t know how long. I still can’t fall asleep, but I’m 99% sure Chuck already has. So, I do something… dumb. Not dangerous this time though. Well, maybe. I reach for his hand, dangling off the edge of the bed and grab it, our fingers now tangled together. I stare at it for a few minutes maybe before turning around and deciding to not be pathetic anymore. I don’t know when exactly I fall asleep, but I do apparently, because I’m awoken by something. Not really sure what. Maybe I just had a bad dream, maybe I’m about to get killed. Who knows.  
I wait a bit and conclude it’s not a murderer this time. Chuck is still sleeping and I’m pretty sure he’s mumbling something, not really sure what. It’s repetitive and if I didn’t have a brain I’d actually think it might be my name. But it’s not, it can’t be. I don’t know how long it takes until I’m asleep again, but I do.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up with excessive sweat on my forehead, some of my hair got stuck to it. I couldn’t think straight for a second, but then I started recalling the last night's events. Holy shit, there was a lot to remember. Other half of the previous day was really fun, I completely destroyed Mike in charades, but that wasn’t the part that stressed me out in particular. When it was time for bed and Mike was stretching out on the bed I really felt like I was going to lose it. I wanted to kiss him so badly in that one, sweet moment, but I just couldn’t. God, he just gave up his precious bed for me. First he gives me his jacket, then the bed, he’s just too nice for a guy like me. I really wanted to say something, generously talk to him before falling asleep and maybe give him a hint of what I feel towards him. I felt really vulnerable in that moment, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, I fucked it up by simply not saying anything at all. I couldn’t fall asleep, I was blaming myself with my eyes closed for not saying anything, but then I suddenly felt something. A gentle, warm hand removing some of my hair from my face, some of it was in my mouth because I was chewing on it from all the stress and guilt, I couldn’t move or even process what was happening and then I felt something else.  
Particularly, another hand intertwining its fingers with mine that were hanging off the bed. There was no doubt it was Mike, of course, certainly it wasn’t some monster from under the bed. My heart went all the way up to my throat, my face changed its colour in a matter of milliseconds, I couldn’t believe what was happening. Why would he do something like this, is he just playing with me? I figured that Mike probably thought I was asleep, which I wasn’t, of course. My breath was getting heavy and inconsistent, I wanted for that moment to last forever, I was too scared to do anything else than just lay there like this, listening to my own heartbeat which sounded like hundreds of bullets going through a wall. The last thing I remember is mumbling quietly “Mike” and falling asleep with a feeling of comfort and safety like never before.

My eyes opened widely, I remembered everything clearly now. I don’t think I ever blushed more than in this particular moment. My heart almost stopped from how fast it was beating, just simply remembering made me feel weak, it all felt so unreal. I immediately looked over to the mattress that was laying beside my bed, it was empty. I somehow felt relieved, I knew Mike probably went to check something in the car, in this exact moment I heard familiar footsteps. I quickly fixed my hair and straightened my back on the bed. “Oh, hi, you’re awake! Hello sleeping beauty, I have good news.” Mike smiled while holding the door frame. I wasn’t sure if I should let him know that I wasn’t asleep when everything happened last night. What if he laughs at me and tells me that nothing like this happened and I’m going to look like a fool? I will try to hold this in and see how he acts today, I truly wish it wasn’t a dream, I want to believe it was all true. I will just brush it off for now. “What are the good news?” I looked at him with a smile on my face. “I got a message from Julie saying that she sent us food, pretty neat huh?” Mike sat on the mattress beneath me. “Oh, that’s cool, when is it gonna arrive?” I asked while scratching my head. “Well, the thing is, the food got send to a nearby location so even if it got tracked it wouldn’t lead to us. Juulie made sure that the location was impossible to track, so we don’t have to worry about anything. We also have to walk there, the road is very rocky and I don’t want to damage our only tires.” Mike said while fidgeting with keys in his hand. “Walking? Damn bro, that’s rough. But I’m fine with it.” I said while getting out of the bed, it was now when I realised that I still was wearing Mike’s jacket, I immediately blushed. “We still have some time before we leave so we can just chill out, I found some CD’s we can play in the car.” Mike smiled softly, which made me feel so weak as usual. “That’s cool bro.” I nodded my head and watched him leave the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yuh this one's a shortie


	5. Chapter 5

We have less than a day before we have to take the walk to get our food. I start preparing: Clothes that are light but cover a lot of skin, so I don’t get burned, something to carry whatever Julie decided to send (I didn’t ask her, the call got interrupted) and water. Lots of water.  
And while I was doing all of this, Chuckles just looked. Maybe with curiosity, but I sensed something else. Not sure what, though.   
I took a break and sat on the mattress creation, facing Chuck. I didn’t say anything, just let out a long sigh and took a sip of water. I don’t know how, but luckily the water here was still working, so that was convenient.  
“Hey, so, uh... How did you sleep?” The blonde asks. I turn to look at him.  
“Uhh, pretty good. Why?” I lie. I feel like I know where this is going and I don’t like it. I hate it, actually.  
“Oh, it’s nothing, I just... Ok, I know it sounds stupid, but I think I felt... something. At night. But I probably imagined it. Don’t- don’t worry about it” he answered with the most awkard look on his face I have ever seen. Fucking great work, Chilton, you made him uncomfortable.  
“Yeah, probably.”  
Silence. I scratch the back of my neck, he averts his eyes. I don’t know if I should say something else, if I WANT to say something else, but then he speaks again, making that decision for me.  
“Anyway, it was nice. I wouldn’t mind if it happened again. Hallucination, lucid dream or whatever you wanna call it” he smiles, and so do I. Christ, he’s too adorable. It’s a crime, nobody should be allowed to be this cute and this oblivious. It makes my heart melt.  
I finally stand up and go back to preparing everything for the long trip. I really don’t want to, but there’s nothing better to do and if I’m not doing anything I feel like I’m going to explode. I’ve checked everything three times already and I’m considering getting more water, but then decide not to. I don’t think we’d be able to carry that much. I go to sit in Mutt, it usually calms me down. I’m kinda sad she won’t be able to get any upgrades for some time, but it’s what needs to be done. I can’t put the Burners at risk just because I want a cooler car. I just hope they can handle whatever Kane throws at them without me and Chuck. These past few weeks were an actuak disaster, wherever we went, Kane’s various bots arrived there moments after us. We checked everywhere, but couldn’t find any tracking devices. Chuck tried disabling it somehow but he also found nothing. It took us too long to figure out it was only me he was tracking. I feel like it’s my fault, even though I know it isn’t. While we’re here, the Burners are trying to figure out how he did that. Can’t wait to go back to Motorcity and kick his ass.  
Well, no. That’s a lie. I can wait, actually. I’m here with Chuckles and it’s... nice. Real nice.  
I think I disappeared for too long because before I knew it, he was knocking on my window. I point at the seat on my right, asking him to come inside. He does.  
“Hey, you ok? You look like something’s bothering you” he says as he’s sitting down. He doesn’t close the door.  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just needed a break. Just a little tired, that’s all”  
“I would’ve helped if you’d asked me”  
“Don’t worry about it” I answer, turning my head to look at him. He really does seem worried, more than usual.  
“I’m not. Well, ok, I am a bit but it’s not that. I want to make myself useful, Mikey. I’m not- I don’t want to just sit around while you do all the work” he complained.  
“I.. Didn’t think of it like that. Shit, sorry Chuckles, I’m sorry.”  
“Yeah, it’s ok” the blonde said with a faint smile, then left. Yeah, i think i fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy (late) Valentine's day!!


	6. Chapter 6

It was almost time for us to go, after what I said in the car Mike seemed kind of down and it really concerned me. I feel like I fucked it up big time and I have no idea what to do to make it better. There’s quite a long way ahead of us and I don’t want it to be awkward, I wanted to be useful at least for once, I guess. Mike always does all the work and I just sit there quietly and watch him do it, I don’t blame him for it though. I also did something stupid and tried bringing up the whole situation from last night to see if I wasn’t tripping on the old mattress dust fumes. Mike seemed oblivious so I tried to play dumb too. I guess it’s for the better for now, but I have a feeling that he’s hiding something and it’s clearly bothering him. I had to mentally prepare for the long walk with Mike. I have to do everything to make him feel comfortable and happy again.  
“Are you ready, Chuck?” Mike tried to crack a smile, he looked guilty.  
“Yes, captain.” I jokingly saluted.  
“I have a map with the location of the package, you’re pretty good at reading maps so I’m giving it to you, Chuckles.” Mike handed me the map, our hands gently touched each other in the process, I felt the familiar warmth coming to my cheeks.  
“It’s three miles away, so six miles in total, could be worse.” I smiled carelessly at Mike.  
“I’m sorry we can’t take Mutt, but Julie warned me about all the rocks and stuff, we could get stuck without any help.” Mike adjusted his backpack strap as we started walking to our destination. We were fifteen minutes into our little journey and Mike started looking really guilty and conflicted about something, it hurts me to see him like this, I wanted to say something but he was faster.  
“Chuck, I’m really sorry that I didn’t ask you for help today. I know it made you feel useless, but you’re not useless and I don’t know what I would do without you on this whole journey, or in any other situation in my life for that matter.” My stomach dropped, my heart started beating like crazy. He still felt bad because of that whole situation, that was sweet, but also I didn’t want him to feel bad.  
“Dude, it’s fine, honestly. It’s really nothing, trust me.” I tried to seem cool, but Mike stopped walking.  
“No it’s not fine, it’s not nothing. I always try to take care of everything and I feel obliged to, because I am seen as the leader. Even if there are people who offer to help me, I refuse to take the help, and that’s pretty shitty of me. I value you so much and I can’t forgive myself for making you feel bad and useless. I’m really sorry.” Mike looked at me with pain in his eyes, I was in shock. I didn’t know what to do, all of his words echoed in my head. I went up to him and did something I would regret, but it was the best thing I could think of. I wrapped my arms around him and locked him in a tight hug. I can’t believe I really did it. Mike gasped quietly at my gesture, but to my surprise, he hugged me back.  
“Mike, I know you didn’t mean anything bad by not making me do the work, I understand you want to be independent and to seem tough, like a leader should. But, please, be easy on yourself, you deserve it.” I said in a soft tone.  
“Thank you.” He said with a breaking voice, my eyes widened, this is the first time I saw him being so vulnerable and helpless. After a minute, we both awkwardly broke the hug and cleared our throats while looking in opposite directions. We started walking again, we both gently smiled and walked in silence.  
“I think that’s where the rocky road starts, dude.” I said to break the silence.  
“Oh, I could’ve never guessed!” Mike said jokingly while pointing at a long path covered with really big, noticeable rocks.  
“Haha, very funny.” I said while rolling my eyes, but I smiled afterwards. At first, walking on the rocks wasn’t that bad, but after a while it started getting uncomfortable and almost painful for our feet. Of course I tripped over three times, two of which Mike caught me in his arms, which resulted in me blushing and stuttering. And each time Mike laughed uncontrollably, of course. To be honest, I could fall over thousands of times just to keep hearing his precious laugh, I could never admit it though. We were talking about nothing in particular, we laughed and started throwing rocks to see who can throw it the furthest. Of course that idea was stupid because there was no way to measure who threw it further and we didn’t know how to identify our rocks, but we still had fun and we didn’t care. Our hands brushed against each other a couple of times which of course made me blush as always. I felt like we were kids again. I looked at Mike, he looked so careless in the moment, I wanted it to last forever. He didn’t deserve all the worries and stressful situations he had to endure throughout his life, I just wanted to see him happy and careless more often, just like when we were kids.  
“We’re almost here, my legs hurt like hell.” I said while kicking a rock. We took a small break to drink water, we still had lots of it left. Suddenly Mike started to take off his shirt in front of me, I almost choked on my water. I coughed and banged on my chest with my fist, meanwhile Mike changed his shirt in front of me. I now just realised that I rarely saw him without his shirt on, maybe never. His body looked really good, he was athletic and everything looked so proportional. I wanted to cover my eyes with my hand, but that would look stupid, I just continued drinking my water while pretending to look at the map. 

We got up after a while and started walking for another ten minutes, we saw an abandoned storage building and a big, black box right in front of it.  
“Bingo, that must be it.” Said Mike with a smile on his face.  
“That’s good because I’m starving.” I said while holding my stomach. We both walked up to the black box and opened it carefully. It was filled to the brim with food and snacks, but also basic hygiene products. I could see Doritos, Pringles, Twinkies and two boxes of my favourite cereal, there was some more stuff, some of which were Mike’s favourite snacks. While looking through all the stuff we also found canned food.  
“Beans? Are you serious?” I said in disgust.  
“What’s wrong with beans, Chuck? Be grateful!” Mike laughed and nudged me on the shoulder.  
“You disgust me sometimes.” I said in an overdramatic tone.

When we finally looked through everything, Mike saw a note on the bottom of the box. The note said:  
“Hi guys, I hope you’re both doing good. The Burners say hi! I also hope you managed to find this package without any further issues, I sent you some food that can last for a long period of time, enjoy. Ps. I miss you, I hope you will be able to come back soon. – Julie”

Don’t get me wrong, I like Julie, she’s a part of our gang and she’s the nicest person ever, but I felt like this whole note was directed only to Mike, especially the last part. And it didn’t make me feel good, at all.  
“I miss Julie, I hope she’s doing well.” Mike said while looking at the note. My heart dropped once again, but this time for a completely different reason. I… thought he didn’t like Julie this way. Oh well, I should’ve expected that.


	7. Chapter 7

We wrapped everything up and decided to rest a bit before heading back to our motel. I could tell something was bothering Chuck so I figured I’d just ask, you know, like normal people who communicate their feelings do.   
“Ok, I can clearly see something’s on your mind. What’s wrong?  
“You know, if you and Julie ARE dating you can just tell me, right?” he answered with a question. I couldn’t see myself but I’m sure my face looked absolutely stupid that moment because, well, obviously I was thrown off guard. So this is what that’s about, huh?  
“What? I already told you we’re not. Why would I lie? What even gave you that idea? Actually, why do you care that much all of a sudden?” I said, maybe too angrily. I don’t even know why, it’s not like I was mad. Chuckles didn’t answer. He just looked down and refused to say anything for a solid minute before I took initiative and continued talking.  
“Listen, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I can assure you there’s nothing going on between me and Julie-“  
“I’m not blind, Mikey. Or deaf. I can see there’s something going on” he interrupts me, annoyed.  
“Well, clearly you are because there’s nothing going on.” I said, raising my voice. I think I scared him a bit, because I notice him flinching and suddenly looking down. Nice work, asshole. “Look, sorry, but there’s really… this is not a thing. I don’t know why you’ve convinced yourself there’s something going on, but there isn’t. Julie is like, the farthest from my type you could get anyway. We’re not dating, got it?”  
“What do you mean ‘farthest from your type you could get’?” he asks with a bit of sarcasm in his voice. I panic, just a little bit.  
“Uh… You know, she doesn’t really… Look, people similar to her do not interest me. Let’s just leave it at that, ok?”  
“Deluxians?” he continues, still oblivious. I think I’m gonna have to come out and I’m absolutely NOT looking forward to it but if there’s no other way to convince him I will NOT hesitate.  
“No.”  
“Then what?”  
“I… It’s just that i- don’t really, umm, you know. Like her that way, or anyone like her” I try to dance around it and fail. Chuck does not give up, that asshole.  
“Look, Mike, I really have no idea what on Earth you’re talking about.”  
“You don’t? You really, truly, absolutely don’t?” I make sure. He nods and stares at me, confused. I take a deep breath “It’s that I’m not interested in… women. Romantically. Or sexually or any other way than as a friend” I just spit out and look somewhere else, I don’t want to see his reaction and I feel I’m blushing for some unknown reason. God, I hope I didn’t fuck it up between us, but I needed to finally tell him. Plus he wouldn’t stop pushing.  
“So, you’re gay?”  
“Uhh, yeah, kinda. Ace actually but I would absolutely prefer to be with a guy than with a gir-“  
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he asks, sounding very upset. I blink a couple of times.  
“I was scared of the way you were going to react. Besides, it’s not like you ever asked” I answer.  
“How long have you known?” The blonde keeps asking and I’m really not enjoying this. At all. I’d actually prefer to do anything other than this.  
“Not long, maybe a little over a year” I shrug. He nods and crosses his arms. I don’t know if that’s good or bad  
“How did you know?”   
I freeze. What am I supposed to say? ‘oh it’s because I fell in love with you’?? No, nope, nuh-uh.  
“You know, I don’t really think that’s any of your business” I come up with something on the spot and, again, I sound more angry than I am.  
“Oh. Right, sorry, I didn’t mean to- ask invasive questions” Chuck apologizes and turns bright red. I smile weakly and relax a little bit. At least he can take a hint, I guess. “Ok have you ever, uhh, dated any guys then?”  
“No. But I’d like to” I say, looking in his general direction but not properly at him.  
“Well, that can’t be too hard. I mean, you’re Mike Chilton. Everyone in Motorcity loves you. I bet it can’t be that hard to find a guy for you”  
“I’m not really trying to meet anyone. At least not for now” I say, scratching the back of my neck. He falls silent and so do I. I feel like he’s interrogating me or something and it’s horrible and shit and I hate it.  
“Ok” he says and gets up. He looks forward and then at me, still sitting. I don’t know what he’s thinking. I don’t know what I’m thinking. At least he doesn’t look disgusted with me or anything so maybe I didn’t fuck up after all. “Can we go now?” he asks.  
“Uhh, yeah. Is- is that all? We're cool?” I ask, confused. He seemed kind of weirder out but now it’s like that conversation never happened.  
“Yeah, totally. Why wouldn’t we be?” he says, staring right into my eyes. I don’t know what to say so I just shrug. I also get up and stretch. Chuckles is observing me as if he was trying to read my thoughts, or something. We pick up the backpacks and start heading back in complete silence. I think we’re gonna have to change our location soon, I’ll need to figure something out. I put a pin in that thought and decide to worry about it later. The only thing I can focus on now is how weird Chuck is acting right now. I don’t think he’s like, homophobic or anything but he’s acting really strange and I have no idea what to make out of it. I really can’t decode him this time. He looks like he’s thinking about something very hard but I decide not to ask.  
We don’t really walk that long until he speaks again.  
“You know I’m bi, right?”  
I freeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hell yes it's gay time


	8. Chapter 8

I blinked repeatedly, I couldn’t believe what just happened. Mike just kinda came out to me, and by kinda I mean he totally just came out to me. I felt bad for forcing him to do it so suddenly, but my stupid brain just wanted to know if there’s at least a small chance that we could work out someday. Getting jealous over Julie wasn’t a good move as well, I feel like I screwed it up and it makes me feel just so embarrassed. It took me a couple of minutes to fully process that Mike is really gay. I know it’s nothing bizarre, but it’s just so hard to grasp that the love of your life is at least into people of your gender. That didn’t necessarily mean he was into me, but still, the fact by itself made my heart go faster than it should. Shit, I realised we were walking in silence this whole time and I didn’t really say anything after this whole situation, he may think I’m homophobic and, well, that’s definitely not the case. Then I decided to just say something that I wanted to get off my chest for some time now.  
“You know I’m bi, right?” I tried to be chill, but my heart was still racing, even though I knew he was going to react positively. You know, because he’s gay. Mike seemed to be caught off guard, I never saw him act like this, he was surprised.  
“Oh, that’s cool, definitely cool, super cool.” He said it really fast while doing finger guns and shrugging his shoulders. I think that was an... okay reaction. He seemed really nervous for some reason, I thought he would react differently, after all, he’s gay himself. But it wasn’t a bad reaction as well, so I was just overthinking. Maybe it was just difficult for him to process something like this after he just had to come out to me, that’s probably the case. Once again, I’m a selfish little prick who has to make everything about himself. For fucks sake, I just forced my best friend who I love deeply to come out to me, when he didn’t have to do it in the first place. My face got red from the embarrassment, but suddenly Mike broke the silence.  
“Do you want to play truth or dare?”  
I looked at Mike slightly confused.  
“Truth or dare? Here? In the middle of a rocky desert? Okay, I’m in.” Mike smiled at me brightly.  
“I start, truth or dare?” I said while looking at Mike.  
"Hmm, truth.” What question do I want to ask him? I will start with something more lighthearted.  
“What was the grossest thing you ever did?” Yeah, that seems pretty lighthearted to me.  
“Oh boy, once I stepped in one of those mayonnaise muffins, I was barefoot. I still feel gross when I think about it, eww.” Mike said while squinting his eyes with disgust.  
"Oh come on, it’s not that bad bro.” I said while laughing.   
“Okay now’s my turn. Truth or dare?” I started thinking.   
“Dare.” Choosing dare seemed like the safest option for some reason.  
“Hmm, sing for me!” I looked at Mike with a really indescribable look on my face.  
"Me? Sing? Come on! I don’t even know that many songs.” I said embarrassed. Maybe I should’ve chosen truth after all.   
“I heard you sing once when you were cleaning some car parts.” Mike said while smirking at me. My face got red.  
"You heard me?!” I looked down in embarrassment.  
"Listen, I wasn't eavesdropping or anything, it was just an accident, I didn’t want to interrupt you. Also, your singing is not bad at all, come on, just one song!”  
Mike said with encouragement. I can’t believe he heard me sing, I don’t do it very often. I remember singing with Claire when she basically forced me to do it and because of her I know a couple of songs. She told me once that my voice was kinda good so maybe I’ll give it a try.  
"Okay, fine. I will sing, but just one song!” I said with my arms crossed on my chest. Mike sat on his backpack and I sat on the box that I was carrying, we decided to take a quick break while I sing. I swallowed the lump that was in my throat and started singing one of my favourite songs, that I didn’t really know the name of:  
“Jenny, darling, you’re my best friend  
But there’s a few things that you don’t know of  
Why I borrow your lipstick so often  
I’m using your shirt as a pillow case  
I wanna ruin our friendship  
We should be lovers instead  
I don’t know how to say this  
‘Cause you’re really my dearest friend  
Jenny, darling, you’re my best friend  
I’ve been doing bad things that you don’t know about  
Stealing your stuff now and then  
Nothing you’d miss, but it means the world to me   
I wanna ruin our friendship  
We should be lovers instead  
I don’t know how to say this  
‘Cause you’re really my dearest friend.” I took a deep breath and looked at Mike who was sitting in front of me, he looked at me in awe while he was holding his face in both of his hands, looking like an amazed kid who just saw a really good movie for the first time. “Are you satisfied now?” I said while getting up and dusting off my trousers.  
"Wow.” Mike said while he blinked twice. “It was…really good, like, amazing even. You should sing more often, for real. I really liked the song by the way.” He said. My heart immediately started racing, I subconsciously chose that song and I was wondering if he got the message. Probably not, but I was still pretty satisfied. We both then got up and started walking again, we played truth or dare this whole time and we also changed the turns with holding the big box with our food because it was getting heavy after some time.   
“Okay, last one. Truth or dare?” Said Mike.  
“Truth.” I said confidently. We still only had 10 minutes left till we get to the motel.  
“Have you ever... kissed a guy?” Asked Mike. After saying those words everything went quiet. I know I asked him a similar question today when he forcibly came out to me and it was my fault, but that question seemed pretty sudden considering all of his previous questions.  
“Well, no. I wish I had tho…I guess. Just to know how it’s like.” I said while blushing.  
"Oh, alright.” Said Mike. After that, we continued playing truth or  
dare like nothing happened and we finally came back to the hotel. I knew we had to change our location soon, so I tried to not get attached to it that much. That day was a rollercoaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayeeee we're celebrating 69 hits


End file.
